all the Loki feels

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Every day I sit and go through the many Lokean and Loki-friendly blogs while I eat my breakfast. Reading the blogroll through ‘July for Loki’ is a real treat. I feel a strong sense of community. Some of the writing this morning brought me to tears. Loki is so much more than just funny quirks, sarcasm and sex. I’m not the most adept with words…

Loki is a Reality Check. Before He came into my life, I was stuck living in the past. Two-faced, keeping people around I didn’t want in my life but too chicken shit to let them go. Suddenly, within a week I managed to “accidentally” send damaging conversations to the wrong friends, “accidentally” befriend an ex, accidentally do a lot of things. The massive shit upheaval that occured is what caused me to finally, actually look at myself in the mirror. I was raging at my stupidity, raging at everyone, ready to throw in the towel and become a hermit. After the storm calmed, and I did a lot of thinking, I realised the only person at fault was myself.

Loki is Patient. No really, He is. He picks when to be patient, He knows. He knows all too well what upheavals, family problems, mental health issues, deaths of loved ones, so on and so forth, can do to you. If He knows you are honestly trying, (and He knows, don’t try to ever fool Him) you will see the patient side of Him.

Loki is Loyal. Another blog writer wrote quite an eloquent peice on His loyalty. In summary, for all the shit He’s been through and dealt with, put up with, He never sees someone as ‘too far gone’. He will intervene a million times, throw every derailment He can. But if you continue down that path He’s trying to help you not go, He’ll stay with you still. He knows we need to learn shit the hard way. He’ll help if He can. And wait for your inevitable return.

That’s all for now. It’s hard to write, but harder to stay silent. This is a lesson for me. I used to prefer only showing my best face, best art, best everything. If something ‘imperfect’ surfaced, I would make endless excuses and feel shame. None of these blog posts would have seen light. Embrace the journey. Take pride in your work, no matter how amateur it may seem. The smallest step forward, is still further than where you are right now.

Hail Loki. I trust You.

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