Finally, after months of procrastination, it’s finished.
The relief. A massive weight lifted off my shoulders. My ancestors are proud.
Belly Blessing (photo of the henna design I did on my stomach, part of a sacred pregnancy journal prompt. I realise not many would want to see a belly on their blog roll, so you get the option to Click to see/read) Read the rest of this entry
Untitled blog post. Because my brain cannot brain. Son brought home a nasty cold, and it’s turned into a head cold for yours truely.
I cannot use cold meds due to the pregnancy. I’m left with water, honey and garlic and rest. Sleep does not come easy these days, and I’m up constantly in the night.
A hidden benefit to the constant waking, is remembering fragments of the dreams. The dreams haven’t made much sense. But it’s been interesting. One fragment was going into a quick-e-mart, and picking out a chocolate bar named Loki. Another was a chat with my aunt, and she had the Snaptun Stone in her attic. I asked if I could have it, and that was the end of that dream.
Last night’s dream fragment, I was in a metal works basement. Lots of rusty things, broken metal peices. I saw a sheet of brownish red metal, with a squirrel shape cut out of it. I said out loud ‘Ratatoskr, goodness it looks like Him’ and I woke up.
………..I’ve never seen, associated, or acknolwedged anything in Ratatoskr’s regard beyond reading lore, and the occaisional image of Yggdrasil with Him running along it.
It makes sense to dream of Loki, He’s constantly on my mind. Ratatoskr is random. Random as random can be.
Side note, my c-section has been scheduled for Nov 11. (This is not open for discussion on birth methods etc. It is medically my only option. The end). November 11th is the date my paternal grandmother passed on, in 2008. I’ve had many dreams of her over the last months. I think there is a reason for her visits, and a reason baby girl will come that day. (If she does not show up sooner, I firmly believe babies choose to be born on specific dates for whatever their life’s work is meant to unfold.)
The last few days and nights have been interesting. Influx of shadow visitors, odd whispers. The quickest apparition of an old man with a beard and cloak, I remember thinking ‘was that Odin?’ and a random howl in the night at 3am. The ghost of a little boy skirting past me and running down the stairs…
Heightened activity for the partial eclipse the other night? Or from all the crazy celestial fuckery going on this fine September?
I’m in no place to do divination on myself. So I sit and wait, till the answer(s) becomes obvious…
Laying in bed resting my knee.
Overpowering, but vaguely familiar scent comes with a cool chill. Smells like incense..and I have not burned any in weeks. Comes in wafts, then disappears altogether when I realise it’s patchouli…
Ancestor maybe? For my Ancestor altar last Samhain I used patchouli…we’ll see.
It hurts to be in tune with nature. Hurts to have the majority of people not care. The animals worldwide going extinct, the endless slaughter in the news. It’s visibly in my face every time I step outside for a walk.
One of the trails I walk along used to be lined with milkweed. It was along this trail last year I saw monarch caterpillars for the first time in my life. This year I was hopeful to witness the same miracle.
taken by yours truely
For some stupid reason, the city’s park cleanup crew decided to mow down the field of milkweed considerably. They did it to ‘make room for more walkers, and dog friendly spaces’.
This put me over my ability to cope. Encouraging more lazy people to leave their dog crap everywhere.(OR better yet, they can pick up their dog crap, tie it up in an obnoxious bright doggy bag, and leave the PLASTIC bag right there on the ground. At least leaving dog shit as is allows flies and nature to deal with it accordingly. Adding a plastic bag to the mix just NOOO). To allow their kids to rip out plants, squash insects, trample through the remaining fields, destroying what was once peaceful and harmonious.
Nevermind that Monarchs are endangered enough already. And any milkweed is crucial. So a field of it gone, during their breeding season, is devastating.
I injured my knee, stumbling in disbelief when I discovered this shit yesterday. I cried. I’m avoiding my walk today. I’m too sensitive and heartbroken. And should nurse the knee as well I guess. *grumbles*
Have always associated spiders with Loki. But, after tonight’s visitor, this is narrowed down to one type of spider for me.
When He wants my attention, I get the yellow sack spider. It’s a bright white almost color, I see them so rarely that it is logged in my memory when I do see one.
Spiders rarely phase me. I may catch my breath, but I go forth without issue. Bright colors attract my attention, and seeing this dude above was crawling across the black table..ok I get it. I caught him with my hands, he was content to just sit in my palm, and set him free outside. (Yellow Sac Spiders are venomous, notoriously aggressive biters, and deliver a bite like a wasp apparently. This I learned via google, AFTER setting it free. I was lucky).
And thinking back on the other times a white spider visited me; in my car, on my seat, before a concert I had invited Him to check out if He felt like it…another time was after an operation. Another time was after a soul crushing argument with a loved one. I was crying in the bathroom and noticed my visitor crawling from a vent towards me….
I enjoyed reading this. Thought provoking.
‘if we have an appreciation for Loki and his destructive children – the god-eating wolf Fenris, the underworldly goddess Hel, and so forth – we are theoretically adopting a stance of honesty.
Read the rest: Loki, the disowned psychic shadow