I wish…

Wish I did not have to over analyze everything that means anything to me.

About 6 months ago, I was in a flurry of excitement to share some stories with my partner. I had had what seemed a very enlightening day, very Loki involved day, I was on cloud 9.

Was.

Hubby is athiest. He listens to what I say, encourages and supports me in the things I do. But sometimes his realism throws a shred of doubt my way, which then snowballs into an avalanche of nope.

Hubby simply stated that maybe the laws of attraction had worked in my favor that day. That the songs that gave me answers weren’t Loki at all, and instead ‘insert_logical_explanation_here’.

It’s a fight being a positive person on most days. I took his comments in the worst way possible I guess. I’m aware I do this, and I fight it, but the struggle is very real. He apologised when the flurry of doubt and negativity flew out of my mouth, suddenly I was questioning everything I ever experienced that I thanked the Gods for. He hadn’t intended me to take it how I did, but it happened, and I still to this day think about what he said.

Doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will. That is so very true. I’m in a doubtful stage right now. Battling a depression, worried about the heap of change coming my way. Yesterday I had a ridiculous amount of signs that Loki was around. But the doubt spoke louder, clearly I’m manifesting this to happen, so on and so forth.

ugh.